Where ARE these “Predatory dominants”?
I attend quite a few Kink / Leather / BDSM events.
I don’t wear obvious symbols of ownership.*
I’m a pretty friendly person.
I can count on one hand the times I’ve been slimed by tops at these events. in over 11 years, it is an extremely rare occurrence.
But to read the fluttering panicky verbiage bandied about, Munches, Leather Events, and any place where more than three Perverts Gather for the Purposes of Pervery are hotbeds of Iniquity. 
Submissive stalkery.
Poaching.
Wanton seduction by dominants intent on flogging flinging finagling and fucking their way in and out of your life, leaving you a shuddering confused mess.
Interestingly, when asked about this, quite a few people report this as what they have “heard” and often, hey now, mostly from dominants who “have their best interests at heart.”
Now, it might just be me. I could be so out of the range of desirability that people self-select and just don’t approach me.
In which case, poor me.
But how many people who DO attend events regularly THEMSELVES have seen, THEMSELVES, FIRST-HAND, this cadre of dominant slavering ill-behaved beastpeople?
Because I ain’t.
And not many people of my acquaintance complain of this issue either!
*my little Self-Commitment necklace has, interestingly, often lead people to ask what it means as it is a bit ambiguous. I do not believe it keeps people away in droves. And frankly, it is a new addition to my wardrobe and won’t account for a far longer history of being treated respectfully ;-)
There’s a game women play called, “all men are pigs”. You go around the circle and start each statement with, “oh yeah, well top this…”. You’ve overheard a couple of rounds of “top this” and confused it for real-world behavior.
The weird part, though, is that the winner always wonders why she doesn’t get asked out.
THAT is an interesting (and lame) thought. I hadn’t considered that fact that, outside of some folks who certainly have experienced creepy behaviour, the rest of it may be posturing. Victim-stance posturing.
I posted this same query on FetLife. Members can peep those threads here http://fetlife.com/groups/229/group_posts/59588 and here http://fetlife.com/groups/14/group_posts/59626. Interestingly enough, only one person has evinced the histrionic and credulity-straining hyperbole that you so often see. Perhaps my wording of the post shooed away the Chicken Little crowd!
Peace.
Mo
well if you think it’s bad with physical doms imagine how annoying (and dangerous sometimes) they could be if after a short conversation they could have you doing things right at the edge of your limits in a daze and even forget things… there are quite a few predatory hypnotists out there.. and they can be a HUGE pain in the ass… I should write a story about some one day but I’d rather keep them hidden than advertise them.
I read those threads on FetLife… very interesting. If I don’t see it myself or know the person claiming to have been preyed upon well enough to believe they’re not lying, I don’t give much credence to what people say. People *do* lie about being raped, abused, preyed upon, etc. etc. And people *do* make mountains out of molehills. Just because someone claims to be a victim doesn’t mean they are one.
I have no real life experience with Doms or public play, but I have met loads of asses online. And I’ve been perfectly capable of telling all of them to fuck off. I also have pretty good bullshit radar. Being submissive does not excuse one from being responsible for their own well being, whether or not they have a dominant in their life.
Just my 2 cents. :p