Mo’s Internet Dating Tips: Watch your feet.
THIS guy gets a pass. He can leave the socks on AND eat Triscuits.             Oh, and click here to remove that smiley!
Hey kids!
I know not everyone here is on an internet dating site. But most of you have tried one if you’ve been single in the past decade of so.
And on the more adult sites, there are often issues that one faces. I addressed the issue of crappy handles and titles in the last installation of dating tips.
Today it is a simple one.
Feet.
I’m not even goign to address wearing silly shoes, because I personally don’t care.If shoes bug you, write about it on your own damn blog.
But gentlemen.
Take.
Off.
Your.
Fucking.
I mean it.
BUTT BELOW THE CUT so watch it.
The Crown Royal pouch screams "CLASSY!"
I know sometimes people get carried away with the idea of having sex. We all do. But I find it disconcerting to see people in the act of schtuppitude and follow my eyes down the callipygian buttocks…
…arched back…
…the tumble if golden locks to…OMFG! DUDE?!?
What are those, Golden Toe?!?
Shit.
Buzzkill.
I do not care how cool you think it is. It is not.
An analogue was brought to my attention in Twitter by a friendwho mentioned that it was a cockblock to see ladies with price tags on their feet.
Yes one could argue if you are watching the lady’s footwear U R DOIN IT WR0NG.
But for the connoisseur or po0nography, such things can be highly problematic.
And so many folks are also foot lovers, it seems a slap in the face gennies  to let them down in such a crass manner.
THE EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE is in pr0n of teh Gay.
Gay men pr0n is very heavy with ho sweaty jock imagery and in this case, I will give them a green light.
Because I am partial to gay man pr0n. :-D
If your feet are scrofulous, take care of them, OK? And if you are advertising yourself on an adult site, it may be true that honesty is the best policy. But if you avoid showing me ANYTHING below the knees, it leaves it to my imagination and I am less likely to back out of the transaction once I’ve gotten to know you just because you have Hobbit feet.
But if you show me socks, I’m wondering about you from jump and will do one of those freaky female brain tangents and probably toss you into the ‘No.” pile before you can say “HANES® BUSINESS CASUAL SOCKS!”
And ladies. If you think guys don’t notice shit like oddly placed stickers…well, evidently, they do.
I don’t know what conclusions they draw from such things.
I know that for me, the first thing I think is “Dag, yo. Chick’s too cheap to even KEEP the FMPs. She’s gonna return them right after this lay!”
Let your feet breathe free, my friends!
You should check out the British sit-com Coupling. They do a whole bit on the “sock gap” and how “no self-respecting woman will want to do the squelchy with a man wearing socks.”
There’s also an episode where the ladies get bitchy enjoyment out of a woman still having the price tag on her shoe.
I am glad that even our brethren-across-the-pond recognize this particular flavor of fail! I have heard of but not seen that show…it sound like they are (in the usual Brit fashion) in line with my humor!
Thanks for peeping ye old blog, lady!
xoxo
Mo
You’ve never seen Coupling?! This situation must be remedied immediately.
yes…. the socks bit does throw me…..
lamesabassman…… what’s with the clear high heels in just about every flix….. is it a union thang….
I know in some cities in South America, the streetwalkers often sport clear heels as a “flagging” method.
I do not know why so many adult film actresses choose them.
I shall ask some!
xoxo
thank you for stopping in, sweetie!
~Mo
In my life, there are only two men who I have permitted to wear socks in my bed.
One was a long term boyfriend of mine. He had a bad habit of wearing nylon socks with cheap fake leather shoes, and started getting some sort of nasty foot thing where his feet would like, flake off. I bought him some cotton socks, made him buy some leather shoes, and sent him off to the doctor to get some cream (I obviously wore the pants in that relationship, lol). But until it cleared up, he was not allowed anywhere near me or my bed without socks.
The other man is a past and sometimes lover who’s dick doesn’t work if his feet are cold. Honest to god. I had him take his socks off once in the winter, and it just wouldn’t work. So he got to leave them on. On the upside, he always wore the cutest, brightly coloured striped socks, and sometimes even toe socks. They were the most adorably queer socks ever. So he got a pass.
I would pay money to watch the second dude getting head while his socks are sloooowly removed and he sloooowly just lost it….
*cracking the fuck up*
Love you girl!
Thank you for the AWESOME comment.
*snurkle*
~Mo
Lol, you say that now, but once you got an eyeful of that cock, and him getting head (From another boy, yum…) lol
We still on for FW?! Hehe.
I want to say first THICK CHICKS ROCK… Wow I had no idea this was such a hot button issue, I’m in tears.. Lamenting in my 18 wheeler truck at this post it is that dam funny. As an Amateur Porn Star I’ve found myself being the one with the socks on…. it’s a head game thing… I’ve just never thought to get completely nude unless I was getting in the shower…also I’ve done final checks with other talent I.E. “dude put some lotion on & off with the socks !!! wait that’s your legs that ashy OMFG” From this day forward with your help Mo I will never have socks in bed again. Oh By the way I felt semi-ok being in the nail shop getting a pedicure and I think it should be voted in as Man Law #235 : It’s ok to go with or without a female friend to get a Pedi & manicure.
You should feel TOTALLY OK with getting a pedicure, man!!
Fewer things are sexier than a person who takes the time for self-care.
And let me say that you will notice an appreciable level of comfort with your partners without the footwarmers, dude!
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Peace
~Mollena
You are too funny. But so right. God its unsexy!
I may someday have Wendy Blackheart’s experience of a guy cute enough to pull it off.
I might be unfair but I am fine with women wearing cute socks. It is just the guys!
I’m so sexist.
xoxo
Thank you for stopping by sweetie!
love
Mo
[…] :: Mo’s Internet Dating Tips: Watch your feet. […]
Coming from the UK my hubby always wears socks and pulls them up far too high. I’m going to show him this blog and hopefully he’ll think twice before he puts his socks on!
If this works I will claim a VICTORY for women EVEYWHERE!!
Thank you for reading! :-D
~Mo
For those who missed my anti-sock post; http://www.mollena.com/2009/08/mos-inter… POTENTIALLY NSFW. There’s a butt.
@Mollena I am sad – google reader didn’t show the butt. But I did get to see your video!
@Mollena Oh BTW when I was last in The Eagle Tavern wearing my KIlt, Ididn’t hear any complaints. #JustSayin
@Mollena I gots purdy feet. well not right now smashed a toe when working on the car… which IS fixed now… never again will I do that..
Very nice site!
“THIS guy gets a pass. He can leave the socks on AND eat Triscuits.”
Oh, my my. Oh, hell yes. I gotta put on a party dress.
.-= Byrdie´s most recent blog moment of Zen on the net was…wyrdbyrd: Oh, snap. That’s what my Mac has been doing with all of the notes I’ve been putting on my iPhone. that woulda been good to know last year. =-.