Monogamy as Mindfuck…?

You can find it here and though the title “How to trick your brain into liking sex with only one person.” was initially bemusing, I think the advice for creating lasting pair-bonding is interesting regardless of relationship configuration(s).

This especially resonated for me:

The good news is that the ancient mammalian brain is also home to the only part of the brain that can stay in love. Just as too much sexual stimulation can put lovers out of sync, “attachment cues” can help them look good to each other indefinitely.

Bonding behaviors include skin-to-skin contact, gazing into each other’s eyes, kissing with lips and tongues, wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure, stroking with intent to comfort, touching and sucking of nipples/breasts, spooning or hugging each other in silence, placing a calming hand on our lover’s genitals, and gentle intercourse. These behaviors deliver the subconscious message, “Strengthen this emotional tie.”

As I think about the type of “play” we most often associate with kink, and the type of “aftercare” we often receive, I can count o one hand the people with whom I’ve played where all or most or even some of these behaviours were connected with the play. And it is unsurprising that the bonding thing rarely happened. And, in the cases where these behaviours WERE present? Yeah, lots of post scene attachment feelings, regardless of actual levels of intimacy.

Fuckin’ ancient mammalian brain…