“Dear TheDominantGuy…” an open letter.
Hey, TheDominantGuy. Yeah this is kinda cheezy, the open letter thing but you know I’m cheezy like that, and this is kinda important to share, I think.
I had an epiphany today. Yes another, but it is OK. I have been Epiphany Free for a few weeks now, and I’m overdue.
I was thinking about how it feels important to have someone in my life, like you, who will be proud of me because of what I do, etc. And I do a lot, you know. Lots of Stuff. And Things.
And then I thought “You know, he doesn’t really make that big a deal about that stuff.” and suddenly I was kinda prickly. This, of course is a sure sign my friendly neighborhood demon is about to start chewing through her leash.
So Bubbles piped in with
“Probably because he doesn’t care…”
And it occurred to me, yanno, that is actually somewhat true. But not in the scathingly negative sense. In the sense that , instead of feeling like I’m constantly striving to be able to lay at your feet all of these successes and whatnot, rather I can set them aside and just be me, regardless.
That is far, far more fulfilling. To feel as though I don’t have to DO anything toprove anything to you. That you want me regardless.
For so many years I longed to have someone before whom I present all of my accomplishments and be reassured in my self-worth because they were proud of what I had done.
I am glad to have met you instead.
It is far better to know someone with whom I can leave my accomplishments behind and present myself, alone, as I am in my humanity, and have that beenough.
Yours. Truly
Mollena
Well. I think you are getting the point. I enjoy hearing about your successes as the dancing monkey – because it means so much to you. Your joy pleases me. But yes, Bubbles is basically correct. I don’t care about those materialistic things. I want you for you; not what you do or how others view you. I look forward to your submission, and your service. The look in your eyes of surrender, the beauty that is you. The magnificent creature you are and continue to become.
So, I look forward to touching you. And give Bubbles a kiss for me, she’s a cutie.
Waiting,
TDG
Sir, thank you.
I wish I’d a more eloquent response for you at present but there is some shit that is even beyond my artful efforts to distill the ephemeral down to vowels and consonants clustered and arranged. Just. So.
Much of this will simply have to wait until I see you again. Then I can say it without the veil of language.
I seduced someone over the internet once, and it was intoxicating. The power I felt — to be able, through ASCII characters alone, to make someone fall in love with me — was quite amazing. I sometimes fear that TDG might get so caught up in the excitement of the chase that he might forget this central fact: toying with you, after you have opened up so much, would be a sin for which there could be no atonement.
On the other hand, I married my conquest, so my fears are probably misplaced.
Blessed be.
I suppose if our interaction had its roots online, or if TDG & I had never met, this might be a valid concern.
Not to say that it isn’t. However? Our connection as it is reflected online and shared with the world via my desire and need to share and his being comfortable with it is enhanced by this type of interaction, not solely based on it.
He didn’t seduce me over the internet. He did it with his touch. His focus. His energy, his voice, his hand on my skin.
His excitement is not, I think, in the chase: he isn’t pursuing. He is waiting for me to come to a place of peace with our connection.
I don’t think he is fearful of sin, or atonement, since he has been nothing but honest with me. If I am being “toyed with,” it is me winding myself up in order to feel that loss of control.
I’m glad your “conquest” wound up in matrimonial bliss! In this case? It is outside of the realm of possibility as he is already happily married.
Strangely enough, I’m not worried about any of that. If the worst case scenario is the relationship ends, and there is pain? Such is life, I will have learned and grown. And that is a beautiful lot to own.
Peace
Mo