My first boyfriend thought eating pussy was about the best thing on God’s green earth and would keep at it until I shoved him away with a foot to the forehead.Conversely, he was such a delighted recipient of my initial forays into blowjobs that I found I enjoyed sucking his cock as much as he enjoyed going down on me. I watched him and listened to his reactions, and he, in turn, let me know when I’d hit upon a move or a rhythm that particularly pleased him, which enabled me to learn to riff appropriately to maximize our enjoyment of this particular intimacy.Imagine my surprise then, when, as an adult (well, chronologically speaking at least!), I have discovered that lots of grown-ups are not cluing their partners in on their hot-buttons! I thought perhaps it was limited to people who weren’t “sex positive” or didn’t have exposure to or training on the Fiery Frontiers of Fornication, but no. I heard from many people all over the gender and sexual orientation spectrum that they simply don’t give feedback, even if the person with their mouth on their genitals is causing discomfort or committing the sexual equivalent of playing “Yakety Sax” on their intimate bits.People.OK, do I really have to explain why this is bogus and fucked for everyone involved? I do?! Dammit.”

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