Blog
Under 500: “Aftercare”
The line between consciousness and sleep blurs to a haze of breathing and soft contact and the tug of a hand on heated skin. There are moments you want to last because you can’t imagine anything better than what you are feeling right now; the slow twist of a sheet wrapped perfectly around your foot,…
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from COLORLINES MAGAZINE: “Playing with Race” by Daisy Hernández
Mollena Williams is gregarious, the kind of woman who makes a point of saying, “How are you today?†to the Walgreens cashier. She has a short afro and laughs easily. She works as an administrative assistant and at night, she pens her theater performances. She is also a masochist. Williams is part of San Francisco’s…
Read MorePerfectly flawed.
 Being submissive and desiring slavery, craving physical and emotional ownership would seem to place me at a disadvantage, relationship-wise I have to be the one looking to fit into the right “place,” right? I mean, there is the topdominantowner, fully formed and domly and all, needing me to be what THEY need in order…
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Say It Loud…
I had occasion today to enjoy a quiet moment in a hotel room high up above the city, idly gazing upon a broad swath of terrain from the cold blue of the Bay to the fog-lapped crests of Twin Peaks. Meandering thoughts mostly disconnected…some deceptively so…were doing their best to distract me from remaining in…
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HNT: Blood Makes Noise.
I’ve had a mixed relationship with my body when it comes to menstruation. I started when I was 12, and was a little pissed because I had swimming class that day, and my Mom was broke, and she only used pads. I was running late but had to get money off of my already…
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Where all the fat girls at?
I got on a bit of a riff today about there not being much variation in the BDSM and Bondage community when it comes to size and color, etc.  I know a few people who make that effort…my dear friend Mistress Heart has done a wonderful job with her Women Of Color  Photo Project. But I…
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Beards: Style Choice or Harbinger of Evil?
Maybe it is just me but I find facial hair to be tickly. I pretty much haven’t ever dated anyone with much facial hair, and in the one exception I made, there really wasn’t much kissing involved in that relationship. I saw more smooch time with this individuals boots than I ever did lip locking.  …
Read MoreSex 2.0 ~ I’m Coming.
I’ll be at the Sex 2.0 Un-Conference in May, and I’ll be hosting a dee-lightful Salon entitled… Delicious Deviance: On Flying Your Freak Flag. Perhaps you are a full blown pervert, but shy about exposing yourself online? Or maybe you are a fledgling kinkster, and unsure of how to remain true to your self while…
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Not tidy. Not polished. Still real.
Trusting myself enables me to do truly miraculous things…like trust others. Trusting others enables us to do truly miraculous things, like make pain transcendent and find new ways to access our souls. In addition to this past weekend being my second anniversary of being sober (whee!) I was in Chicago to talk about a play-style…
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Not gonna tell you yet.
I have many words at my disposal…my odd propensity for occasionally reading dictionaries and my incessant hoovering of information blended with my never-ending quest for the most apt or surreal metaphors and similes rarely leaves me at a loss. Yet this weekend I found myself at a loss several times. I was in Chicago to…
Read MoreHNT: Gettin’ Wiggy Wit’ It.
  When I was a kid I loved wearing my Mom’s wigs occasionally to play dress-up. Being the late 60’s, everybody had a few in the closet ready to go.  I wish I had the balls to wear wigs more often…it is a really fun way to play dress-up :-) Hair does so…
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WTF Wednesday: Tool Time + Play Time = FAIL.
I do not want to “Blame The Victim” in the case of a grim injury. But when the victim voluntarily let someone put an electric saw ANYWHERE NEAR their girl bits, my sympathy evaporates like rubbing alcohol poured on a sidewalk in Dubai in August. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Â …
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iPerv.
I don’t have an iPhone. I’m not connected with this company and I’m not making any money off of this. Â But I find it terribly delightful that iPhone has a kinky app. Â From their site: Â Â Need to keep your minions in line? Have an unruly co-worker that you’ve always wanted to smack…
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What kink is NOT. (Or: Yes, Rhianna getting beaten IS our business.)
I don’t do all that much in the celebrity gossip arena save for occasionally snarking. But a recent high-profile abuse case is straddling several areas of thought in my brains today. I know you may know this, but let me reiterate: simply because someone is masochistic, one cannot assume that they would also tolerate abuse.…
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Choking on “Shoulds.”
One of the Happier Discoveries I made about being a pervert is that lots of the idiosyncrasies, pathologies, fetishes and freakish desires that many people frown upon in the General Public are not only just fine by pervs, but are actively encouraged. You Like to boss people around? Great! Find yourself a pliant submissive and knock…
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HNT – Still life with brand and apple.
The apple, which is, as we know, the Fruit Of Knowledge and Medical Intervention, is a Pink Lady. The brand is of my initials, MW, flowing together. It was burned onto my skin over Folsom Street Fair weekend 6 years ago. It was a way for me to take possession of myself, and to remember…
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Please. Don’t do me any favors.
I have been exchanging emails with a dominant I had approached with the intent of getting to know him a little better. I got several brushbacks. He found me “intimidating” somehow…but never elaborated on what that meant. He doesn’t play casually, because his play partners tend to “fall for him” so rather than risk that,…
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The Colored Girl Speaks.
This Friday night was very challenging for me, in that I was teaching a class on Race Play for the local Women’s BDSM organization, the Exiles. It is the class that makes me the most edgy, and not just for the obvious reasons. It is tough enough to present at ALL for kinksters. But I…
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HNT – A Truly Vulnerable Moment.
In the spirit of exploring what it is we feel is private, I bring you this week’s HNT. A truly personal portrait. Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
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It would have been enough.
Since I taught a class on Tact and Diplomacy and yadda yadda and talked about shit like “gracious communication” and using “I feel” and “I think” statements, I sure as hell better practice what I preach. Or at least give it my best fucking shot. I was proud that, despite the occasional disappointment, fleeting moment…
Read MoreDark Odyssey, day two…
Day two of the Dark Odyssey event and frankly, it is pretty great. My sleep patterns are crazy! My dreams are even crazier…last night involved a complicated play involving a friend of mine attempting to fuck me up the ass behind every door in the room of a 56 room Victorian mansion..yesh. It was, at…
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HNT ~ Nekkid in the Capital.
I’m in Washington DC again…this time I doubt I’ll see the First Couple dance. I am sure the Obamas keep their kinky play in the bedroom. I am presenting a couple of classes here at the Dark Odyssey event…which should be cool. But today…today was long. Grueling. Challenging. But right now I get to do…
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FLESHBOTTED!! Hellz yeah, bitches!!
Sex Blog Roundup: Little Secrets  By AlwaysArousedGirl, 1:00 PM on Tue Feb 10 2009  How dull would life be if we didn’t all keep a few little secrets safe from even our closest friends? Read on with AlwaysArousedGirl and find out what our favorite naughty bloggers are hiding. Don’t tell! There are some…
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Dungeon Wall-of-Blame: “Mom? Can I borrow your Collar?”
I know so many kinky folks who raise their kids in wonderful loving,  supportive homes. Homes where there just hapen to be parents who are kinky. I know a few of those people who have had their kink used against them in custody cases, and that is is a grim fact of life. As long…
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