Blog
WTF Wednesday: tiny collar.
One of the more romantic ideals within the BDSM world is that of collaring. But it is not a universal conceit: the symbolism varies wildly. There are some folks for whom a collar is a nice accessory, an ornament, worn because it looks sexy. And it runs the gamut all the way to those for whom…
Read More
Pretty Mess.
I am aware that there are people who enjoy “messy” sex as their kink. I was, not too long ago, at dinner with friends. When one poured a mini-pitcher of au jus down the shirt of the other (to my shocked dismay, let me add) the saucee was less dismayed by the impromptu gravy anointing as they were…
Read More
FemDoms: my sympathies.
In my experience, Lifestyle female Dominants are among the rarer critters in the plains and valleys of the BDSM / Leather Lifestyle Landscape. These women are often beset by hordes of male submissives. It sounds like an awesome proposition no? To have packs of men swooning at your feet. Who wouldn’t want to be the…
Read More
A (belated) “Thank You” to the good folks at APEX.
Yeah, I sometimes forget to say “Hey, that fucking ruled!” when something fucking rules. So I belatedly wish to give a shout out to those awesome ass-kicking Kinksters living amidst the south-west sandstorms, sunsets, snakes and succulents. Firstly to Red for her invitation and ease of negotiation. Red, ya kick ass. Keep on keeping on.…
Read More
WTF Wednesday: what’s that about Black women, dude?
I absolutely cannot kill my internal eternal optimist. Many have, inadvertently, tried to quell Little Mo’s bright-eyed bushy-tailed wellspring of hopeless romanticism. “You never know!” she’ll pipe up in hopeful, dulcet tones “Stranger things have happened! Sometimes people find wonderful folks online! Give it a try Mo!” SO, I open my in-box on yet another…
Read More“Topping from the Bottom”: what it is NOT.
I cringe and bristle when I hear the phrase “topping from the bottom” It is often used as a pejorative within the Leather and BDSM community to denote one who is in the position of receiving sensation (the bottom) directing or “topping” from what “should be” a subordinate place. The problem I have is this: the…
Read More
Fucking Monsters.
Fucking Twitter. A series of Tweets with PantheraPardus bounced me out of bed so that I could try to explain to myself why fucked up people turn me on.  In 1992 I was living in LA and had gone, with a few girlfriends, to see the new Tarantino flick. I didn’t know anything about it, but…
Read More
Sugasm time!
Hot Sexytime from the Hot sexyblog people. Word. This Week’s Picks Sugarbutch Star: Maze – The Girl in the Red Dress “She’s the kind of girl who brings out the worst in me.†treat or … fuck “He looked like I had just given him a car for Christmas and he gently took my hand…
Read More
“Top’s Disease”: The pathology of arrogance, or kinda hot?
If you are a self-identified kinky person, you may have heard of “Top’s Diseaseâ€: the dominant who shows off in scenes, is riddled with self-importance bordering on clinical monomania may fall into the category of victim of “Top’s Disease.†This is the idea that a dominant or top has a terminal kink-centric narcissism. Believing their…
Read More
Under 500: “Hush, babygirl.”
His chin tilts and his eyes drift in a particular way when he isn’t paying attention to what I have to say anymore. I’m irritated but the lazy meandering of his gaze is deceptive. I know better than to think he isn’t paying attention. He is. He is, even as I earnestly try to explain…
Read More
Captured at Folsom.
The Folsom Street fair rules. I have attended annually since 1997. This year, I stopped at the midpoint of the fair by a large gray cube constructed of draped fabric. I was bemused by the fact it was covered with poster-sized portraits of people in Fetish garb and assorted drag. I was gestured over by…
Read More
WTF Wednesday: Black girl. Red State.
The folks of the Arizona Power Exchange group invited me, a long while back, to teach a class for them. That class is this weekend. Please keep in mind, I am used to controversy. I am, after all, one of the very VERY few people in the BDSM / Leather Community openly discussing and teaching…
Read More
Top the vote.
Today we all get to be the Dominants of Democracy. Have you taken your swipe at the booty of America today? Well, get cracking, people! This is a Big One. Do it, and do it right. And hey, to my peeps in The NYC, and y’all keepin’ it real in Seattle: Get your groove on…
Read More
“What the hell do bottoms know about rope bondage?”
I have been invited to be a speaker at a kink event. This is really, really WIN, and seems to be happening more frequently, which is SUPER cool. This one is in Colorado. It is called Denver Bound. It is a smaller event, and they have an interesting setup. They have a few people come…
Read More
Yes, I CAN shut up. I simply choose not to.
I was reminded of an old lover today. A memory as convoluted, bittersweet and difficult as any in my life to date. Then the larger question of BDSM reportage came to mind. Usually, one does ask the person about whom you are writing if they are OK with you writing about them. Usually, they are…
Read More
Fuck Yeah It’s Friday!
The good folks at XCRITIC have a vision. That vision is awesome pr0n for your wanking enjoyment with reviews by People Who Love The Porn. Some of those people are industry insiders. One of of those people is…ME! I am thrilled to announce that I am the newest contributor to the XCritic Review Team. *confetti*…
Read MoreSUGASM! (and a wee little Mogasm!)
OH MY GOD!! I got voted into Sugasm, y’all!! *squee* I could hardly wait but I am trying to be all disciplined and shit about posting. SO, yay! Yay all Sugasm participants, and thanks for giving the nod to my “Tale from the vault.” Sugasm #151 October 29th, 2008 by Vixen | Last modified: October…
Read More
HNT – Bluesin’ with Billie
I decided to go with a totally spur-of-the-moment shot for my second offering. This truly was a WTF Wednesday and I thought what better way to give a hopeful feeling to a brand-spanking new day than with a self-portrait & some panthera pardus-y perkiness? My friend Billie snuck in tonight. I think I will dial…
Read More
WTF Wednesday: Did you READ my profile?
I know it is tough. When you are surfing the interwebs to look for love, perhaps you lack the time to read every line of every profile of every woman into whom you want to stick your penis. But please. My gods. Some of the responses I get to my profile. This gem today in…
Read More
FUCKED (Under 500)
Trying out this new thing, seeing if I can pull off telling an (in)decent fucktale in under 500 words. Whaddya think? “Don’t move. Don’t fucking move. if you move and you make me come right now I swear to god you’ll make me very angry and I don’t think you want that.” I could hardly…
Read More
SEVEN Deadly Facts / SEVEN Deadly BLOGS (I Been Tagged, Yo!)
So there is this fucking meme of tagging people which I hate but also love. That seems to be today’s theme. So, thanks to the sultry sexy mama over at Baser Instincts, here are my SEVEN DEADLY FACTS. I am sure this is stuff about which no-one will give a flying fuck. 1) I cannot cross…
Read More