Musings
Feeling safe in feeling human.
As a submissive – someone who prefers relationships where there is a mutually beneficial unequal power dynamic – I have done quite a bit of self-exploration around my needs and desires. And as someone who seeks out a master / slave relationship – a relationship where one human secedes power and control over themselves on…
Read MoreService animal.
Having a memory as surreal as mine is, occasionally, amusing. I can recall some conversations with freakish clarity, be they the day before yesterday or Valentine’s Day 1993. But please don’t ask me what I ate for lunch yesterday. So this makes for fun times when I buy something for myself, totally forget, then feel…
Read MoreSubmission: better than “A gift.”
I think about Various & Sundry Things and Stuff all of the time. And I question pretty much everything. This includes a great deal of thought about kinky stuff. Since my first explorations of Leather and BDSM via books and online bulletin boards, I’ve read and listened to a great many ideas. And there are…
Read MoreIgnorance = Freedom
On Sunday, September 5th, 2010, I got hit in the face with an epiphany about my journey in Leather, in slavery, that shifted my paradigm, re-routed a stifling blockage of self-pity, and enabled me to take back a part of me that felt broken and damaged. It was a massive reset. I was…
Read MoreEpiphany. [Courtesy the Sunday Times]
After being shoved into a Very, Very. Bad. Place emotionally following a conversation sparked by the death of Amy Winehouse, I’ve been floundering on some core issues. I had to wince to see so many people’s callous opinions, and to hear people opine that addicts just made “bad choices: ” that we chose to let ourselves…
Read MoreI see what you did there.
I hate it when someone says “We have to talk.†It doesn’t matter what comes after that. My hamsterbrain jumps right onto that Wheel of Misfortune and starts furiously scrambling. This is a reflex I have had for as long as I can remember. And it doesn’t fucking matter who says it or what…
Read MoreAdjusting the idle.
I have a hard time straight-up asking for advice. Partly because I am afraid of people doing that whole “I’m worried about you!†thing when I do. It seems often when I do say “Yeah, I’m struggling with this…can you help me?†a great deal of the time I get a response that pushes me…
Read MoreAccepting your submissive self.
Some anonymous person asked me the following on Formspring…and I felt more like talking to them rather than writing about it. Admitting my submissive side is one of the hardest things that’s happened to me. I don’t know what to think or do with myself anymore. I wonder if it’s a result of past sexual…
Read MoreNot so goddamned fast….
There is little within the BDSM and Leather community circles that I take seriously serious, and that is not because I am irreverent about everything. OK well maybe it is, a bit. And maybe it is because fringe communities so often be takin’ so much so got-dammed seriously, I do not see that…
Read MoreThe Scent of a Woman (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Snatch)
I swear on Ganesha’s mighty trunk I am really pushing myself on this one. Leave it to The Dominant Guy to bring up and toy with one of my more…sensitive personal areas. This is going to get punny in a second because the area I’m talking about is the DMZ. The punanni, snatch, cunt,…
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