Not tidy. Not polished. Still real.

Trusting myself enables me to do truly miraculous things…like trust others. Trusting others enables us to do truly miraculous things, like make pain transcendent and find new ways to access our souls. In addition to this past weekend being my second anniversary of being sober (whee!) I was in Chicago to talk about a play-style…

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WTF Wednesday: Tool Time + Play Time = FAIL.

I do not want to “Blame The Victim” in the case of a grim injury. But when the victim voluntarily let someone put an electric saw ANYWHERE NEAR their girl bits, my sympathy evaporates like rubbing alcohol poured on a sidewalk in Dubai in August. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:  …

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What kink is NOT. (Or: Yes, Rhianna getting beaten IS our business.)

I don’t do all that much in the celebrity gossip arena save for occasionally snarking. But a recent high-profile abuse case is straddling several areas of thought in my brains today. I know you may know this, but let me reiterate: simply because someone is masochistic, one cannot assume that they would also tolerate abuse.…

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Choking on “Shoulds.”

One of the Happier Discoveries I made about being a pervert is that lots of the idiosyncrasies, pathologies, fetishes and freakish desires that many people frown upon in the General Public are not only just fine by pervs, but are actively encouraged. You Like to boss people around? Great! Find yourself a pliant submissive and knock…

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Please don’t hurt the…masochist???

I value the relationships I have formed within the BDSM community. It is not only that we have the commonality of kink, it is that being a pervert means that you smite the artifice of sexual Gerrymandering. I am living a charmed life in some ways. My lifestyle as an “Out Kinky Pervert” actually was…

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DIY Masochism [Or: “Ow!! #@%$^!!!”]

The other day I was at my desk at work, grimacing over the hundreds upon hundreds of photographs of our member’s members when I decided I needed a fucking break. I stood up and was about to push my chair back when, by the Holy Sweet trompibulating trunk of my Dear Lord Ganesha I smacked the FUCK…

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Performance. Anxiety.

“How can I compete with a class where someone gets a fucking BLOWJOB from a PORNSTAR?!?!” This is my agony today. Lame? Maybe.  Weird? Certainly.  Self-precipitated?  Definitely. But nonetheless. See, as a kink educator, I have the unique opportunity to share my experience with other perverts. I think that is a singular honor, one  I don’t take lightly, and…

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Origins, Part II: Caught.

Continuation from ORIGINS:Falling Caught. I made it about two steps out of the bathroom when I felt a hand around my neck, pulling me into the bedroom slamming me up against the wall. I blinked. The door to the bedroom, kicked shut, cut off the light from the sitting room. My eyes had hardly adjusted…

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WTF Wednesday: Come. On my “face”.

“Do you know what a ‘Tribute photo’ is?” A lazy afternoon in bed with my laptop. I am on IM with an online friend and under normal circumstances, I might take a moment to research the thing myself before responding “No.” I have a thing about gathering knowledge myself. A cursory search turns up very…

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Pretty Mess.

I am aware that there are people who enjoy “messy” sex as their kink. I was, not too long ago, at dinner with friends. When one poured a mini-pitcher of au jus down the shirt of  the other (to my shocked dismay, let me add) the saucee was less dismayed by the impromptu gravy anointing as they were…

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